Can’t Text or Call You

We used to talk and text every day. I could send you a message, a video, a photo, anything, without even thinking about it. Now I know I can’t. Because if I text you, if I call you, if I send you something like I used to, I might mess up what you have with him. So all I can do is wait for you to text me. And that is probably the hardest part. I feel like an outsider watching your life unfold without me. I can see you, I can think about you, I can miss you, but I can’t reach you anymore. Everything we had will slowly become quieter. The conversations, the calls, the stupid videos, the little things we shared every day. And one day, maybe all of it will just be memories. Memories of a time when I could text or call you whenever I wanted. And now I can’t.